tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38159663007863776082024-02-20T18:22:54.286-08:00jezreel's thoughtsmy name actually means "to scatter" in hebrew... well, you'll find my random thoughts scattered in this page...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-82174181298860166292009-01-25T05:02:00.000-08:002009-01-25T05:06:44.723-08:00like never before..<span style="font-family:georgia;">live..<br />love..laugh and cry when happy and sad like never before..</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#66ffff;"><em>be someone for Christ like never before..</em></span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br />-that is my protocol this year!!! be someone <span style="font-size:130%;">BETTER</span> like never before..<br /><br />its like a new year's resolution but a few weeks shy from the start of the new year...it took me weeks before i realized these...<br /><br />-it took me a couple of hard exams... countless pages of powerpoint presentations.. tons of passengers from the metro transit... two sessions for our small group.. crying sessions with my mom.. alone.. sleepless nights.. heart ache...<br /><br />then God must've nudged my head... i snapped into a realization and now i dont mind how low an exam can get as long as i know it was HIM who put me in my new workplace and it's HIM who'll remove me from there... <br />it wouldnt be much of a big deal anymore if he's gone, if i cant watch my favorite tv shows because i arrive late at home.. if everything's like this and that...<br />i will make my life as light as possible from now on..<br />i'll be someone better like never before!!!! im not gonna be afraid.. :) its late but cheers to the new 2009... hehe.. pasok pa naman sa chinese new year.. :)<br /><br />batiin ko na din si homebodyhubby, fjordz, kookoo at G. lapis.. :)<br /><br /><br /><strong>"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age". Matthew 28:20</strong><br /><br /></span><br /></span>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-76378817575407802752008-12-28T20:02:00.000-08:002008-12-28T20:34:00.887-08:00where did i go wrong....<div style="width:300px;"><object width="300" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/pl/UJZmAseLdh/aus=false/"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://media.imeem.com/pl/UJZmAseLdh/aus=false/" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="300" height="340" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><div style="background-color:#E6E6E6;padding:1px;"><div style="float:left;padding:4px 4px 0 0;"><a href="http://www.imeem.com/"><img src="http://www.imeem.com/embedsearch/E6E6E6/" border="0" /></a></div><form method="post" action="http://www.imeem.com/embedsearch/" style="margin:0;padding:0;"><input type="text" name="EmbedSearchBox" /><input type="submit" value="Search" style="font-size:12px;" /><div style="padding-top:3px;"><a href="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/banneradclick.ashx?ep=0&ek=UJZmAseLdh"><img src="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/bannerad/152/10/" border="0" /></a><a href="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/banneradclick.ashx?ep=1&ek=UJZmAseLdh"><img src="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/bannerad/153/10/" border="0" /></a><a href="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/banneradclick.ashx?ep=2&ek=UJZmAseLdh"><img src="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/bannerad/154/10/" border="0" /></a><a href="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/banneradclick.ashx?ep=3&ek=UJZmAseLdh"><img src="http://ads.imeem.com/ads/bannerad/155/10/UJZmAseLdh/" border="0" /></a></div></form></div></div><br/><a href="http://www.imeem.com/people/IkIun4x/playlist/vaoNSlzT/my_life_in_08_music_playlist/">my life in 08</a>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-29707048782197241072008-12-15T18:00:00.000-08:002008-12-15T18:37:51.003-08:00the 10thfunny how...<br />there's a certain pen that i dont like now,<br />there's these particular candies that i despise,<br />and there's a specific memory im dying to kill<br /><br />roses aren't so red anymore, and i prefer daisies and lilies now...<br />chocolates aren't that sweet, i love the dark ones now..<br />bears and boxes are things that makes my room smaller now..<br />if i can just kill these memories....<br /><br />time must've took a vacation in my life<br />the ticking clock is making forgeting harder than beforejezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-43922501187523750202008-12-03T00:33:00.000-08:002008-12-03T01:02:10.415-08:00His love and probably He's cheering me up...i was guilty because he was showing how hurt he was...i felt responsible and i am mad because i can't accept the fact that i can do that to someone... he did hurt me too but i was more focused in the idea of him hurting because of me..well partly because of me, others would say its not my fault.. i blame myself why he's hurting.. have i handled the situation well enough, have I consulted God, things must have turned differently.<br /><br />i felt defeated. i wasn't able to handle my job well enough. my pride was getting in the way of things. i felt like a loser having to quit. i felt bad not being able to achieve a target, a goal. i hated myself for being weak...<br /><br />i was crushed. i lost a battle with someone i'm not supposed to be fighting with. they're family. harsh words were thrown in my face and to the people i love and i blame myself for all of it. i hate myself. if again, i handled the situation well enough, none of these will happen.<br /><br />then finally, I gave up... it was the time where no one can help me anymore.. except GOD. i realized how i was covering my ears all along with His words of comfort, wisdom and fogiveness...<br /><br />i cried....i was so sorry... im ashamed... then im comforted...<br /><br />and now i realized im starting all over again...<br /><br />and i have to forgive myself too...<br /><br />it was all too sad... and maybe God saw that and had to made me laugh too...<br /><br />last thursday, i went with a friend in a church she's attending... before the service started, the worship leader encouraged everyone to shake hands and greet one another...i said hello to the people beside me...i got surprised when someone named f-----s shook my hand and introduced himself to me... my friend laughed.. because the guy only said hello to me and not to any of my seatmates... and of all the names.. haha! it was just maybe God is saying.. "anak, o.. tama na.. let him go.. let it all go..have fun.. " and i laughed... i laughed with a heart new and refreshed...<br /><br />kapangalan... haha.. kapangalan.. natawa po ko dun God.. and i'll listen na po talga.. :)<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff6600;">Psalm 139:14 (New International Version)<br /> 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.</span></div>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-56653035639916468002008-11-25T01:52:00.000-08:002008-11-25T02:03:01.821-08:00yey!salamat po kuya homebody hubby!!!<br /><br />wohoo!! may award na may candle of friendship pa.. ayos!!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SSvMfQIaM0I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/kr1a6Gc6KIo/s1600-h/smile-award.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 142px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SSvMfQIaM0I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/kr1a6Gc6KIo/s200/smile-award.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272532626045547330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SSvNITXImEI/AAAAAAAAAKY/TsIF6t5PVnk/s1600-h/candle-of-love-gift.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SSvNITXImEI/AAAAAAAAAKY/TsIF6t5PVnk/s200/candle-of-love-gift.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272533331287251010" border="0" /></a><br />binibigyan ko din nito sila...<br /><br />fjordz!<br />kookoo!!<br />at G. Lapis!!jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-43933610398479109162008-11-20T22:57:00.000-08:002008-11-20T23:12:11.132-08:00learning the hard waysometimes,<br /><br />we think too much of the past that we forget about the present...<br />we live our lives so hard for a future full of uncertainties that we see less of what is happening at present.<br /><br />we like the idea of some things so much that it hides that bitter reality of uncertaities and mistakes...<br /><br />we only see things that we wanted to see... we blind ourselves to what displeases us.. i do that a lot lately...<br /><br />and so..<br /><br />for the nth time, i have to learn things the hard way.. again..<br /><br />.. maybe you never were friends in the first place<br />...maybe you chose the wrong course in college<br />..maybe you trusted the wrong friend<br />...maybe you just have to accept things and move on..<br /><br />yes, i'm learning things the hard way again...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-8963771819015833122008-11-14T21:25:00.000-08:002008-11-14T22:54:02.418-08:00almost there...joy in my heart.. I've got joy.. j-o-y..<br /><br />haha.. no i don't have joy but i'm getting there... thank God..<br /><br />leting bygones be bygones is not easy but one "friend' did it.. how can i not..<br /><br />so yesterday, before i went back to manila.. i met with some of my older friends..<br /><br />as we discussed life over donuts and coffee... slowly, i felt the j-o-y creeping back in my heart again..<br /><br />my friend said loving something and someone involves not only our feelings but our choice.. yes.. our choices play a big part our lives...<br /><br />my choice.. your choice... when we decide impatiently.. we get bad reviews amd consequences.. but spometimes even if we think about it for the longest time.. we stil get bad eggs in the end..<br /><br />so how do we make the right choiice..<br /><br />i can imagine them again.. they all said.. "through God's wisdom.."<br /><br />of course! yes. in Hima lone do we get the perfect answer to our every question...<br /><br />and so... on my way back to the busy husstles and buzz of the city life.. i affirm in His promise of j-o-y in my heart...<br /><br />oh yes..<br /><br />and so i sing... in my own version!<br /><br /><br />I'll have joy down in my haert.. deep deep down in my heart..<br /><br />jesus gives it to me.. and no one can destroy it... WHHHOOPS!<br /><br />I'LL HAVE JOY DOWN IN MY HEART.. DEEP DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART!!!<br /><br /><br />hugs!!<br /><br />ps..<br /><br />to the man behind the smile.. if ever you stumble on this..<br /><br />THANK YOU... cheers to the new chapters in our lives.. NEW chapters...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-79908818826449627742008-11-13T02:51:00.001-08:002008-11-13T03:08:00.157-08:00fear factor ... jezreel version.. hehenasubukan mo na bang matakot?<br /><br />malamang oo...<br /><br />ayon sa pinagaralan namin nung kolehiyo pa ko.. mahigit sa isang daan ang tinatawag na "phobia" ng madaming tao...<br /><br />kagabi nanood ako ng "fear factor" at marami nga naman doon ay hahamon sa lakas na loob.. iniisip ko yuloy, saan ba ako natatkot?<br /><br />bigla ako nakatanggap ng sms galing sa pinsan ko.. ayun! alam ko na kung ano kinatatakutan ko..<br /><br />hehe.. di si pinsan o ang celphone.. ang weird pero natatakot ako sa "kamaganak' ko.. oo.. pag pinaguusapan ang pinsan, o aunti o uncle.. napapatahimik ako...<br /><br />magisang anak lang ako.. naalala ko, nung nakaraang linggo, may nangyari sakin at pinagtanggol ako ni inay at itay... e sabi ko wag na nilang gawin.. ok lang ako.. (kahit di naman) oo, si "kamaganak" yun napagsama ng loob ko...<br /><br />bata palang ako.. natatakot na ko sa mga yun.. para silang mga 'boss" sa kumpanya na dati kong pinagtratrabahuhan.. dapat ko din silang pagsilbihan... oo siguro onligasyon ko yun.. pinagsisilihan ko ang magulang kasi mahal ko sila at nararamdaman ko.. pero si aunti at uncle.. hay juice ko.. apple juice kalamnsi juice ko po!<br /><br />pag sila naaalala ko.. madami akong naaalalang di kanais-nais na bagay.. grabee.. para bang matutulala ko tapos maalala ko din yun scene sa time zone.. tadadadadan... basta...<br /><br />ayun yun pala siguro phobia ko... having contact with a relative.. lalo na uncles and aunties.. para bang kakainin nila ko kasi ng buhay kahit di naman..<br /><br />ay.. at saka pala sa mga overpass na yun hagdanan butas butas.. medyo naiilang ako dumaan dun..<br /><br /><br />kahit na may mga "phobia' ako... ok alng naman.. wala naamng imposible kay God e.. aalisin nya yun..<br /><br />I can do all things through Christ who gives me strenth.. ika nga sa bible..<br /><br />kaya sige na.. bukas haharap na ko sa mga hurado na binunuo ng angkan ng aking ama.. aka aunties.. apol juice ko po.. nakakakakaba!!!!jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-27988213832304849102008-11-11T23:18:00.000-08:002008-11-12T00:25:59.566-08:00a romantic flickwho loves fairy tales???? <br /><br />i DO!<br /><br />lately while bumming around i was inspired to write one..<br /><br />and so the story goes like this.....<br /><br /><br />one fine day.. in the magical kingdom of forEVER.. lived LADY . She is surrounded by her good and loving friends...She lives with her stepmother and 3 step sisters... she works for her stepmother Anlyn, along with her step sisters Sonja(the eldest) B( yes her name is just a letter), and Marcel.. Lady's (yes, that's her name...) main task is to recruit people in their mini businesss and every day.. her task become more and more tedious.. It is just too much for a young lass to handle.. her sisters are not as bad as those "occasional" step sisters you read in fairy tales.. though they are sometimes mean to her too.. they felt bad for LADY so they allowed her to get some help from her friends.. Edson, her good friend volunteered to help in exchange that she gives him some advice regrading theins and outs of the business world, for somedat Edson would want to be in the same business as Lady's family... Edson brought along two of his friends too... Lloyd and Derek, two dashing men from the EAST! and so the Lady along with new found friends Lloyd and Derek worked everyday. Lady's family business was doing well but she is yearning for something else.. Her late father has always told her to follow whatever it is that she is interetsted inand that is teaching and writing,, But oh, her step mother finds it rubbish.. she wont allow Lady to leave the company... So lady continued working at their company... But she is so sad... This sadness was noticed by Lloyd, the dashing warm-hearted man turned his friend... he asked what's keeping her sad.. and so she toled him of her plans.. everyday, Lady and Lloyd would discuss theri future plans and found out that theyboth liked the same things.. well, almost... on the other hand, Derek was also noticing Lady's sadness so he makes funny jokes to make her happy... Edson observed that thing are getting better for his friends and so he is happy... As everything becomes better for Lady, little does she know that Lloyd was falling for her.. And so one night, Lloyd confessed to Lady.. but oh the sadness of Lloyd when LAdy refused him.. Edson leaned about his two friends' predicament and supported Lloyd in her conquest to win Lady's heart.. Along the courtship.. something happened.. in the land of the EAST came chaos.. some men were dplaguing the city of EAST. Edson and Llloyd has to return to the EAST to help their fellowmen... they decided that Derek be left with LAdy.. LLoyd entrusted her love, LAdy to his good friend Derek... months and months passed.. though LLoyd is away, he never forgot his love for Lady.. he sends her flowers and letters ... but still Lady's heart was closed for him... this was giving Lady some sadness.. Lloyd's courtship to Lady was supported ny Edson and even Lady's fam,ily.. Her stepmoth and sisters would convince LAdy to accept Lloyds love.. but her heart.. her heart may have belong to someone else.. or nona t all.. her love belong to the children.. to teaching and to writing... Her sadness came into Derek's observation.. everyday.. Derek would cheer her up.. and one day, derek asked something that have made Lady's heart all the more stressed... Derek likes Lady.. oh no, teh lass was confused.. she does have fun with Derek.. a lot of fun.. theri conversations would go on for hours and still, she's not tired of him.. but what about Lloyd.. who was bravely fighting in the EAst.. Her family had arranged everything for her to be betrhoted to Lloyd.. a nobleaman he is.. but, something's amiss for Lady.. her heart's undecided.. she spent days thinking untill she got terribly ill... it was almost death.. It was Derek who looked after her along with her family.. he serached for the best medicine to cure her..And one day as she felt she was well enough, she realized a lot of things and talked to her stepmother, after the talked emerged a decsion.. she will not be with LLoyd, nor with Derek.. she will pursue her love.. teaching and writing at the NORTH.. where some of their relatives live... she talked to Derek about herdecision and he reluctantly accepted her decision.. though he asked if He comes in the North with her... would she have accepted him.. she did not answer and left Derek...<br />weeks later, the war in the East was done. Edson and Lloyd went home. as they were about o get home, Edson noticed something in Lloyd's eyes.. wrath.. jealousy.. He knows... as soon as they got home he looked for Lady.. he confronted her with harsh words that made Lady weep in sadness and hurt.. Lady just got of sickness that almost had her killed.. if it it wasnt for derek.. than she would be dead.. but the wrath in Lloyd's eyes was so visible.. Lloyd accused dereka nd Lady of being lovers behind his back... he felt betrayed.. LAdy vehemently denied Lloyd's allegations.. she said that the allegations arent thue and since first she never gave her heart to lloyd nor to Derek.. Derek saw the confrontation between Lloyd and Lady. he tried to break off the argument by explaining but Lloyd was too mad.. the two battled in their anger with their fists.. and then at the end a sho echoed the air....<br /><br />it was a gunshot...<br /><br />Edson went out to see what was that.. his lovely wife emioly followed.. and so as anlyna dn her daughters..<br /><br /><br />oh the sight was almost tragic.. but not quite...<br /><br />years passed.. and we see things turned out to be quite different..<br /><br /><br />Derek picked a book that has Lady's anme engraved in it.. he bought it for 3 gold coins.. and he saw Lloyd walking with Edson.. nods were exchanged but the wrath of yesterday is till in men's eyes..<br /><br />and LAdy... the sweet Lady.. she was surrounded by her little angels.. teh children she loved to teach and the books she thought she'd never had...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-9074053603829938752008-11-08T02:31:00.000-08:002008-11-08T02:32:21.718-08:00is the juice still worth the squeeze?The very essence of our existence had been a topic that entangled the mind of so many philosophers for ages… so many theories were formulated why we exist and continues to exist. How does one still exist amidst all the trials life has given.<br /><br />According to Wikipedia, the word "existence" comes from the <a title="Latin" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin">Latin</a> word 'existere', meaning to appear or emerge or stand out. To emerge and to stand outr, I believe has always been in the mind of every individual.<br /><br />I remembered my chat with some old high school friends regarding our existence in our high school days. Some existed to be just mere wall flowers during that time but we were surprised at the social status they have achieved at the present.<br /><br />Existence. Why do we exist? To emerge and stand out, what do we do? Does winning the regional quiz bee prove our existence? Or does bagging a Latin Honor during college prove your worth in the society? How about being part of the winning debate team? the school’s famous varsity maybe? Or the position you hold at the company you’re working in?<br /><br />Existentialism is a subject I’ve studied in college that challenged my beliefs and ignited my mind to think about life. It has made me think of so many WHYs in my life and HOW to achieve the answer in my WHYs. Existentialism is a philosophy concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility. I think it has always been human nature to ask “why?” and “how come?”<br /><br />I have always believed that I exist because God wants me to exist, God, the beginner and finisher of my life.<br /><br />"For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him" (Colossians 1:16).<br /><br />As these times of uncertainty cause countless doubts and resentment to a lot of people all over the world, more and more people would ask the question why…<br /><br />Lately, I’ve caught myself asking God why some things happen to me… and when I would see myself asking.. I’d claim my faith in Him…<br /><br />from James 1:17 we know that God gives us good and perfect gifts, and Ephesians 3:20 says that we know God is able to do above and beyond all that we can ask or even think.<br /><br />Is the lifestyle I have built for myself still worth living? Or, has the people I have surrounded myself with still worth of me?<br /><br />The answer to those…<br /><br />I wanted to say yes… but at the back of my mind I kept telling myself “I don’t know..” I really don’t know the answer…<br /><br />In a couple of weeks, the year is about to end again… how I wish a lot of chapters in my life will end as the year would change.<br /><br />It’s easier to wear slippers that to carpet the whole earth… hay, maybe the juice is still worth the squeeze, yeah?jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-17339759593208404162008-11-04T23:37:00.000-08:002008-11-05T00:25:11.845-08:00read this!Rizal said the pen is mightier than the sword..<br /><br />i guess he's right.. someone's words had literally got my hands shaking and in tears...<br /><br />this is the last time im going to justify myself to you.. if ever you'll be reading my post..<br /><br />SKATER BOY is my old org mate from FEU!!! he's not your friend! i did nothing behind your back! i would definitely miss bumping into him in the school's grounds, corridors, the game me and my friends attend to and outside school!<br /><br />should i tell you that someone else like me? i didnt think i should but seriously i was really gonna tell you... oh wait.. i guess i was late kasi YOU already made up your mind ABOUT ME!!!!!!<br /><br />what i denied.. about him? i chose to do it at that moment because i dont know how to tell you.. and i had my reasons.. and oh.. na baka si girl lang may gusto... NAGTANONG BA TALGA KAYO SAKIN BEFORE YOUMADE SUCH CONCLUSIONS!!!!!!!!<br /><br />secret lovers! it was just something that i thought of during that time because he resembled an office mate's ex boyfriend whom she had a "secret affair"... kamukha NYA yun dating boyfriend na ka-officemate ko.. kung saan itong si officemate at ex ay naging secret lovers! kaya ko nsabi yun mga katagang secret lovers ay marahil yun ang naiiisp ko nung time na yun! but it doesnt mean i like him to be anything else but a friend...<br /><br />DO YOU REALLY NEED TO QUOTE ME?!? in your blogs!!! oh.. yeah let me quote this "<span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>It really ruined not only friendships! But truly their selves as well…"</strong></span><br /><p>we ruined ourselves to you?!? </p><p>I have deemed you to be more than this... i really did.. the repercussions to what i did.. that "did" that you think was so "grave".. i get it.. i just dont get this!<br /><br />when i said sorry sayo.. i meant it.. i just dont know if you meant yours!!! all the things you've said.. you can never erase them.. </p>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-73915083031230886102008-10-26T02:56:00.000-07:002008-10-26T03:43:54.099-07:00litanya...<br /><alarm><br /><br />"i chose to break something.. sad.. really sad.."<br /><br />9 something am..<br /><br />good morning jez! .. head spinning... teka, hangover? umm.. di nga pala ko umiinom... umm.. naiinis.. naiinis.. naiinis..<br /><br />ref.. jam.. bread..<br /><br />lalabas pala ko..<br /><br />naiinis.. naiinis.. naiinis..<br /><br />cellhone.. scroll.. delete, delete, scroll.. delete.. idelete nalang lahat!!<br /><br />beep.. sms.. "goodmorning jez!"<br /><br />smile.. :) :)<br /><br />teka... <tummy>umm.. mali mali.. bakit ka nakangiti...<br /><br />bad jez!<br /><br />12 something pm...<br /><br />fx: kamusta ka na?<br /><br />pom: ang haba ng hair ng lola mo.... nakakainis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />usap.. usap.. usap..<br /><br />jadson: ... sige<br /><br />kain.. kain.. kain..<br /><br />jadson: ikaw nga bea nya e...<br /><br />pom: haha!!!! tawa!!! tawa!! tawa!!! whatever..<br /><br />fx: tawa..<br /><br /><br />lakad.. usap.. tawa.. yey!! buti nalang..<br /><br />sms.. punta k?<br /><br />isp. isip. isip. isp....<br /><br />hmmm... sige na nga.. pwede pa naman.. naku patay ako nito.. (ayan na naman yun butterflies sa tyan ko.. )<br /><br />ayun.. sige nalang na..<br /><br />ayan na.. :)<br /><br />bahala na... basta..<br /><br />poor eyesight in teh dark... di ako makakita..<br /><br />(ok lang nandyan naman sya.. ngingiti sana.. pero .. tsk tsk.. bad jez bad!!)<br /><br />kain.. kwento.. tawa.. ngiti.. tingin sa mata.. tingin pa sa mata.. tingin pa sa mata.. hay..<br /><br /><br />oops... uuwi na tayo..<br /><br />ate: uyy.. sige balitaan nyo ko..<br /><br />pom: huh?!? wala to.. (naku.. wag nya malaman please!!! ayan na naman yun butterfly...)<br /><br />hatid.. hatid. paalam.. umm.. hirap magpaalam..<br /><br />"don worry ako bahala.. wag ka na magisip.."<br /><br />arrfg!! yun ang talgang gusto ko gawin magisip!!! *&^*&^ ayoko malaman yun susunod na mangyayari..<br /><br />hay...<br /><br />pom: "wag na.. pano kung di na ko ang gusto mo... " haha...<br /><br />tapos.. rant.. rant rant.. rant.. rant..(patient sya e.. nakikinig naman.. ) kaya sige rant pa din.. "diba. nakakainis yun.. !"<br /><br />........: osige na.. ikaw lang, isip ka ng isip sa nangyari..<br />pom: e kaya nga e.. basta hayaan mo nalang ako..<br /><br /><teledrama><br /><br />hay.. bakit kasi di ka pa pumasok sa loob jez!!!!!<br /><br />pom: "basta.."<br /><br />..............................: "bahala ka.."<br /><br />pom..: :/ ok...<br /><br />pag uwi..<br /><br />sige jez.. toturin mo sarili mo..<br /><br /><br />tanong tanong... ym.. alam mo naman sagot.. pilit ka pang nagttanong kung ano dapat mo gwin..<br /><br />sms: andto na ko.. good night..<br /><br />pom: ok ingat dyan.. :)<br /><br />(pero talgang :( ganito sya.. haha!!)<br /><br />ayun.. ahhh.. bukas ako ng blog..<br />blog..<br /><br />silip silip silip.. ( habang sumisilip..naalala.." wag mo na kasi ttgnan pa yun..")<br /><br />e ayun.. tinignan pa din.. binasa.. binasa.. wahhh!!!! :(<br />:(<br />:(<br />:'(<br />:'(<br />:(<br /><br />ang dami ko ng di gagawin next time..<br /><br />:'(<br />:'(<br /><br />kumuha ng tubig.. nilagay ang bulaklak sa improvise vase....<br /><br />pinsan: ang ganda nyan pom ah..<br /><br />pom: may chocolate pa.. :'(<br /><br />pinsan: ubos na ata.. wag na inuubo ka e...<br /><br />pom.. e ok lang yan... badtrip ako e..<br /><br />pinsan: hehe.. naubos na e..<br /><br />pom: WAAAHHt! .......................... ok.... bag.. halungkat ng chocolate.. halungkat.. oo makalat si bag... halungkay..<br /><br />ah! meron pang isa.. pulang chokolate...<br /><br />wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! naalala ko si.......<br /><br />ano ba yan...<br /><br />pinsan: "noodles na to.. iyo ba?"<br /><br />katxt: ano magnda sa sine?<br /><br /><br />pom: waaah!!!!! ayoko na.. ayoko na.. oo.. ok.. ok na ko.. ayoko na...<br /><br /><br />iyak.iyak.iyak... umm. tapos na 11 minutes.. nagiinarte naalng..<br /><br /><br />higa.. pray.. tulog...<br /><br />bangon.. net. net. net.. tulog..<br /><br />sunday: 9 am...<br /><br /><br />pom: "bakit???...."<br /><br /><br />...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-48048916278216665452008-10-23T08:09:00.000-07:002008-10-26T02:56:17.535-07:00as long as it is HIS promise.. no problem!! part 2.. guarded"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23)<br /><br />and i thank God he has been guarding not only my heart but its decisions as well...<br />oh.. and these decisions.. their hard.. umm.. i have to really think.. and see..<br /><br /><u>i chose the one HE had provided for me..<br /></u><br />no, he's <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>not</strong> one of the "guys" i mentioned</span> before... though..... yes.. there are "thoughs and what ifs..."<br /><br />but i can not risk my decision to my faith.. its sad.. but its what i chose..<br /><br /><br /><em>i'm choosing to wait... from James 1:17 we know that God gives us good and perfect gifts, and Ephesians 3:20 says that we know God is able to do above and beyond all that we can ask or even think.</em>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-91489990760352975102008-10-22T02:19:00.000-07:002008-10-24T09:14:54.856-07:00as long as it is HIS promise.. no problem!!finally..<br /><br />i can write again..<br /><br />after all the drama.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">umm</span>... more drama i guess..<br /><br />its my last week at work..<br /><br />probably my last week also at the place i live in..<br /><br />oh... and the "boys"... yup..<br /><br />lets see..<br /><br /><br />-i feel brave enough to resign, probably should be braver becoming unemployed for a while.. i believe i can find a new one in no time.. i just hope it would be way way better than my present one..<br /><br />---bottom line for me: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">DONT</span> give your TRUST that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">easilly</span>...<br />CONSIDER the advice of people who have been there<br />and the most important thing.. still.. TRUST GOD..<br /><br />-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">i'm</span> getting, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ummm</span>.. evicted in the place i live in.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">umm</span>..<br /><br />---crux for me: REVIEW all your decisions, for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">teh</span> CONSEQUENCES may last a lifetime..<br />RELATIVES.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ummm</span>.. they kinda suck sometimes... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">umm</span>.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">BIGTIME</span>!<br /><br />-and oh yeah... the "BOYS"<br /><br />plural form.. yep! never had so many of them in my life.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">haha</span>!!!<br /><br />----so how will you choose?<br />of his roses and chocolates... how do you say no?<br />of his laughter and his smile... how do you say no?<br />of.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">umm</span>.. his looks.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">haha</span>! how do you say no?<br /><br />lets see..<br />it's because it just wont <span style="color:#ffffff;">work...</span> even though everyone has practically vouched for him.. even i sometimes ask, how come it's not him... probably there's someone else.... is it the other one who sounded so different.. no one's vouching for him and taking the risk of going out with him sounds so <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">appealing</span>.. sounds so.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">umm</span>.. <span style="color:#000000;">"secret lovers" </span>.. but knowing the consequences make my tummy squirm.. it will ruin not only friendships but probably us as well... and so down to the last one.. he <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">whose</span> looks had one the smiles of everyone in our place.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">haha</span>... but this one, i can expect nothing.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">im</span> too tired of dealing w<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">ith</span> first two.. i just waved my hand and put down my hair.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">sayng</span>.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">haha</span>!! "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">ang</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">ganda</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">ko</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">naman</span>..."<br /><br />but seriously.. i was thinking this maybe God's way of preparing me for something nice.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">hmmm</span>.. the "outing" at the end of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">November</span>... the one where i might probably see who He <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">had </span>chosen for me... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">haha</span>!!!<br /><br />the feeling of being "liked"... its nice.. but i believe <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">I'll</span> have someone that HE has picked specifically <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">for</span> me.. maybe he is one of the boys i talked about.. but I know God is saying.. "wait..."<br /><br /><br />i <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">don't</span> mind waiting.. as long as <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">I'm</span> holding on to HIS <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">promise</span>.. i can wait and wait and wait.. :)jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-19799785382452585142008-09-22T15:27:00.000-07:002008-10-23T00:43:29.745-07:00i learned and cried a lot...yesterday, i cried bukets and buckets of water to sleep.<br /><br />and i made a decision.. i'm resigning.. i never felt this sad before.. a different kind of sad..<br /><br />my boss talked to me regarding my job performance... and it was a long talk.. which made me realize.. i want to leave.. im resigning...<br /><br />i dont want to go home everyday feeling so exhausted i cant read my favorite book.. i dont get to have my devotions sometimes because i wake up late since im tired from yesterday. I am tired... i know this is not what He wants for me.<br /><br />a few months back, i received feedbacks from my friends who already established in the corporate world that i should get a new job.. my parents told me so too...<br /><br />and yes.. i know.. i should have listened and i acknowledge that.. im sorrry and i will heed to their advice next time...<br /><br />they do know better sometimes..<br /><br />plus.. really.. we should be careful on who we give our trust to...<br /><br />i had this written in my multiply site a few days ago..:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">"there was this request i made last night to someone that triggered a decision i ever thought i would make this early...<br />it's been four months already and i never knew i would end it this way... my high regard to some people is slowly diminishing. Each day pass by and i can no longer find a reason to stay. i hate this feeling..<br />the past few weeks had been so gruesome for me.. my stress manifests even in my sleep..<br />i have never felt this low before... i was berrated, talked to sacastically and bypassed. there were times where i feel unrespected.. not valued..<br />I think the lesson i learned about all of this is that i have to know when enough is enough..<br />and sometimes lessons learned are a bit too late... if i should have came into that realization before... i never should have felt like this with some people..<br />i was hoping things will get better..<br />maybe in some other time.. but not now..<br />and so last night... i cried...<br />that's when i knew.. i have to stop... and probably exert all my time and effort in other things.. not all things are forever ..."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I pour out myself in that post and i wanted to share it to someome in the office whom i consider a friend and trust.. i shared the post through a short letter with some words of encourage ment and all the yadiyahs...</span><br /><br />and what happened next stubled my feelings in a halt.. sh eprinted out my personal email for her and showed it to my boss.. our boss...<br /><br />i felt sad really bad.. i dont know how will i feel about her.. i regard as my best colleagues..<br /><br />it sucks when those things happen to you..<br /><br /><br />it really does...<br /><br /><br />my heart sank with pain..<br /><br />i cried so hard last night knowing i have to leave my work really soon... i know i have to leave... i do like what i do.. its just there are too many of it.. and the people... they make it harder...<br /><br /><br />i pray yesterday for HIS guidance and wisdom.. io prayed and prayed as i pour my tears out...<br /><br />the sad part is..<br /><br />i couldnt find anyone to pour my heart out too... my mom and dad is not here.. my cousin's a bit indifferent and i dont know if i can trust the pople in the office anymore... i do have some friends.. two of them made the effort to make em smile... thanks nicole and jadson...<br /><br /><br />i learned a lot lately...<br /><br />though painfull,<br /><br />i thank God for it.. i rejoice in the circumstances i get to see HIs love all the more..jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-42667948629007762782008-08-22T15:37:00.000-07:002008-08-22T16:15:17.140-07:00labor day!dahil sa laki ng oras na naigugugol ko sa pagtratrabaho.. ang daming tanong ang naiisip ko.. hinanakit.. inis..may 168 na oras tayo sa isang linggo..<br /><br />sa opisina... mahigit 5o hours ang ginugugol ko sa opisina sa looob ng isang linggo...<br /><br />at mahirap magtrabaho pag ang kasama mo araw-araw.. sa mahigit walong oras ay di mo gusto o kasundo..ang bigat sa pakiramdam..<br /><br />napaiyak ako sa opisina kahapon.. nakakainis..<br /><br />ang pagtratrabaho... bakit tayo nagtratrabaho??<br /><br />sagutin mo nga ako..<br /><br />bakit tayo nagtratrabaho????<br /><br />-maaring dahil kailngan natin ng pera...<br />-maaring dahil sinabi ng magulang natin na magtrabaho tayo<br />-pwede rin nais mo isagawa ang inaral mo ng 4 o 5 taon...<br />-sabi nila ang isip, pumupur0l at katawan, humihina pag di ginagamit kaya kailangan magtrabaho.. ok na nga ang isip at katawa.. kumikita pa...<br /><br /><br />PERO.. lahat ng sobra.. masama diba..<br /><br />-pag maraming pera<br />...........nawawalan ng oras sa pamilya.. sarili.. at kung ano ano pa.. di mo rin ma-eenjoy pera mo.. wala nga adw peace of mind diba.. ewan ko.. di marami pera ko e.. naririnig ko lang sa may mga marami nun..<br /><br />-dahil sa sabi nga lang ng magulang.. di NAMAN TAYO MASAYA<br /><br />-SABI NILA MARAMI DAW UNDER EMPLOYED E..... di anman talga nagagamit ang pinag-aralan e... ako mismo sa HRD.. maraming naencounter na ganyan.. ang inaapplyang position mlayo sa sinabi kong job specs..<br /><br />-ah oo.. gamit na gamit isip ko at katawan ko sa trabahoko.. isip ako ng isip.. bad for the health..<br /><br /><br />gaya ng sabi ko.. pag SOBRA.. saka lang nagiging masama...<br /><br /><br />e madalas din.. di naman napapansin ng tao kung sobra na o hindi pa e..<br /><br />kahit na NAKAKAINIS minsan magtrabaho... NAKAKASUYA... o naman talagang nais mo sabihin ng OGAG yun kasamahan...<br /><br />OK PA NAMAN AKO...<br /><br /><br />e pano... INIISIP KO... PARA NA ALNG TO KAY LORD... I WORK FOR HIM..NOT THEM..<br /><br />buti nalang weekend..<br /><br /><br />sabi ng kasamahan ko.. kahit na magresign ang isang empleyado..wla nman mangayyari sa opisina e... kikita padin kumpanya..<br /><br />totoo namn din..<br /><br />gaya samin.. kung may gulo man sa admin gaya ng pagreresign at di pagkakaunawan.. may mga customers pa din akmi. din anamn nila alam yun nangyayari sa loob e... kaya may custom ers pa di akmi.. madami.. di nalulugi kumpanya.. yun mga nagtratrabaho lang.. lalo na pag di "properly compensated"..<br /><br />bakit ganun.. parang ang empleyado ang lugi?<br />parang may amli sa konspto ng "LABOR" dito sa PILIPINAS...<br /><br /><br />inumpisahan ng mga kastilang yan ...<br /><br />feeling tuloy ng ibang Pinoy.. ok magpaalila... @$#%^&^..<br /><br /><br />LABOR??<br /><br /><br />grrr...<br /><br />feeling ko im bound to do something with the concept of "WORK RIGHTS... di pa alng full force ngaun... bakit??<br /><br /><br />may 1 ako pinanagnak e...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-83944082090608347832008-08-15T06:46:00.000-07:002008-08-15T06:49:14.653-07:00maraming salamat kookoo!!matagal na ko na walang blog...<br /><br />ngunit ngayon.. mukhang sisipigan na talga kong magsulat...<br /><br />dahil ang blog ko ay may bagong design..<br /><br /><br />malaking pasasalamat kay KOOKOO!!!<br /><br />malaking hello din kay:<br /><br />kuya homebodyhubby<br />g.lapis<br />fjordz<br />gizmo<br /><br />salamat muli KOOKOO!!!!jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-39333671121946644872008-06-17T05:31:00.000-07:002008-06-17T05:52:35.336-07:00photo edit collection<div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexexqutYI/AAAAAAAAAGA/7VsVCLMEIfE/s1600-h/belle+me+part1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212830235991389570" style="WIDTH: 211px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 174px" height="214" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexexqutYI/AAAAAAAAAGA/7VsVCLMEIfE/s200/belle+me+part1.jpg" width="212" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFeu_PwGFuI/AAAAAAAAAFw/0ILoiSGTrP4/s1600-h/prends.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212827495287887586" style="WIDTH: 208px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 168px" height="198" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFeu_PwGFuI/AAAAAAAAAFw/0ILoiSGTrP4/s200/prends.jpg" width="221" border="0" /></a><br /><div> </div><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFeu_PwGFuI/AAAAAAAAAFw/0ILoiSGTrP4/s1600-h/prends.jpg"></a></div><div></div><div>prends palagi.. =)</div><br /><br /><div></div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexHO92A-I/AAAAAAAAAF4/xOoiIQprGfo/s1600-h/we+can+just+look+on....jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212829831539327970" style="WIDTH: 218px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 183px" height="174" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexHO92A-I/AAAAAAAAAF4/xOoiIQprGfo/s200/we+can+just+look+on....jpg" width="211" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div> hanggang tingin nalang...</div><br /><div></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexxb7_UVI/AAAAAAAAAGI/82egSR6BkWU/s1600-h/smile1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212830556575715666" style="WIDTH: 190px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 146px" height="164" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SFexxb7_UVI/AAAAAAAAAGI/82egSR6BkWU/s200/smile1.jpg" width="224" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br />ngiti sa sarili...<br /><div></div><div> </div><div>___________________________________</div><div> </div><div> </div><div>sabi kanina ng kaibigan ko...:</div><div> </div><div>cheng: 241 ka diba?</div><div> </div><div>cheng: dapat palaban ka</div><div> </div><div>cheng: hehe</div><div> </div><div>tama tama cheng.. tama ka dyan..</div><div> </div><div>natuwa ako talga..</div><div> </div><div>___________________________________</div><div> </div><div>sabi ng boss ko.. madaming bagay talga kahit maliit nakakapagpasaya...</div><div> </div><div>oo tama siya.. pero ngayon, di ko na alam kung yung bagay na yun ay talgang nakakapagpasaya.. </div><div> </div><div>_________________________________</div><div> </div><div>sabi ni boss,</div><div> </div><div>di ka ngumingiti ngayon..</div><div> </div><div>masakait lang taga tiyan ko..</div><div> </div><div>wag ka magalala, isang linggo ka lang sa operations department..</div><div> </div><div>ok sige sabi mo.. matapos mo ko ipamigay sa kabilang department e di sige nalang...</div><div> </div><div>sige nalang, gaya ng sinasabi ng lahat.. tiyaga daw kasi daw lahat dumadaan sa gaito..</div><div> </div><div>natural ba sa pilipino ang pagiging matiisin? isa siguro sa dahilan kaya ang kupad ng usad ng pinoy minsan.. </div><div>hay</div><div> </div><div>trsut God nalang nga.. e di tapos usapan diba.. hay...</div></div>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-84930423370339719762008-06-07T07:42:00.000-07:002008-06-07T07:49:22.836-07:00is getting there worth every step...?<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SEqfsNOnkBI/AAAAAAAAAFo/VlQds3ipRaU/s1600-h/arabesque.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209151500821434386" style="WIDTH: 88px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 112px" height="78" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SEqfsNOnkBI/AAAAAAAAAFo/VlQds3ipRaU/s200/arabesque.jpg" width="114" border="0" /></a>source: <a href="http://www.theeveryman.com/index.php">http://www.theeveryman.com/index.php</a><br /><div>i hope so...</div><br /><div><br />all the waiting, the patience, the time given and the effort exerted..</div><br /><div><br />i just really hope everything would be all worth it in the end..</div><br /><div><br />a lot of people warned me of the path that i took..</div><br /><div><br />"find another one, the one that pays you better..."</div><br /><div>"finish your MA first..."<br />"try doing this.. and that..."</div><br /><div><br />in the end, i ended taking the path enyways.. and so here i am.. guarding on my faith not to double cross me.. if my faith on what i've chosen wavers.. i dont know what to do.. i dont want to admit they might be right all along..<br /><br />at this moment, i dont know anymore if i'm really happy or am i just convincing myself that im still having fun with what i do...</div><br /><div><br />but i'd love to think i still am having fun with what i do. i still carry the responsibility given to me with pride and integrity... i guess that's enough to sustain me for now...</div><br /><div><br />i always think there is something more behind what my eyes can see and that something is why God is there for me.. </div>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-2510483633847865522008-06-03T05:22:00.000-07:002008-06-03T05:55:46.510-07:00its a matter of trust...'he caught me when i was falling down.. and i didnt see it!!!"<br /><br /><br />haha.. last saturday, we had short training/get together at the office called morning hub. we had a game/activity called "Willow in the Wind" , is a trust building activity.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SEU5Q0ERhxI/AAAAAAAAAFg/YtcpYS_qi_Y/s1600-h/WillowInTheWind2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5207631505141106450" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SEU5Q0ERhxI/AAAAAAAAAFg/YtcpYS_qi_Y/s200/WillowInTheWind2.jpg" border="0" /></a> that's not us.. too bad we dont have any pictures..<br /><br />the one in the middle serves as the willow... the rest of the group surrounds the "willow" and serves as the wind... the willo is blindfolded whiile other teammates(wind) toss him around.. i know you get the picture.. so that's pretty much what the game entails.. it's suppose to establish TRUST among us..<br /><br />at one point.. i played the "willow"..<br /><br />i was blindfolded.. was tossed around.. i allowed myself to be tossed around.. i trusted my groupmates...<br /><br />and at one point.. i really felt like i was falling.. i dont know if someone wil still catch me.. but one guy from the group did catch me.. and after that i removed my blindfold and everyone was staring at us.. more at him like they were glad he was there to catch me.. i must have been near the ground.. they kept on saying "buti nandyan siya.."<br /><br />he did catch me and everyone saw it but me...<br /><br />kinda like in life..<br /><br />sometimes we're blindfolded of the true people who care for us or who are willing to catch us when we fall...<br /><br />we concentrate so much on otehr people, other things.. "other everything.."<br /><br />there's so much more than what we "dont have" at the moment..<br /><br />and i guess we really just have to trust that someone will always catch us when we fall.. its just that they may not be the people we expect..<br /><br />*************************************************************************************<br /><br />HAPPY BIRTHDAY FJORDZ AHOY!!!jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-30881341445231761262008-06-01T02:52:00.000-07:002008-06-01T03:06:04.703-07:00so fed up...hindi ko lang lubos maiisp may mga taong ganoon... higit pa, mga kamag-anak na ganoon.<br /><br />tatlo. tatlo lamang kami sa pamilya.. ako, at ang aking magulang. masaya ako sa kung anong meron sa aming tatlo.<br /><br />ang ikinalulungkot ko ay ang "extended family".. mas matatanggap ko pa kung ang masasakit na salita ay manggagaling sa isang di kakilala... ngunit kung manggagaling sa kanila.. masakit para sa akin. ni minsan 'di ako nagreklamo sa kung ano ang meron ako sa buhay, o kung ano man ang estado namin... wala silang karapatan para diktahan kami kung saan kami titira o lulugar.<br /><br />I believe i am only accountable to God and God alone. we'll stay kung saan namin gusto at kung saan kami nilagay ni God.. i owe my life to no one except with God.<br /><br />i dont understand them... nasasaktan talga ko sa ginagawa nila.. sa nangyayari.. sa lahat.. naiinis ako kasi nangyayari ito.<br /><br />parang gusto ko tumigil muna ang lahat...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-39488852510009220912008-05-18T04:00:00.000-07:002008-05-18T04:02:40.284-07:00marami pa ko gusto gawin bukod sa umupo sa opisina ng buong araw...Nakakatakot baka ang bagay na pinili ko ngayon ay ‘di pala ang siyang nararapat para sa ‘kin.<br /><br /> Ang trabaho ko ngayon, ‘di ko alam kung gusto ko talga. Natatakot ako baka nasasayang ang panahon ko. KApag ba sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na enjoy ako eh ‘di ba ito gaya ng “self defense”.. pinapaniwala ko lang ba ang sarili ko na masaya talga ko? Sabagay, naniniwala din anamn ako na makapangyarihan ang utak natin. Kung ano iisipin natin ay siya din namang magkakatotoo. Kung iniisip ko na masaya at “enjoy” kung anong meron ako, aba, baka sakaling totoo at ito nga ang mangayayari o nangyayari.<br /><br /> Noong una, akala ko talga ok na ko. Ngunit kanina, isang kaibigan ang nagtanong kung ano ang trabaho ko... tinanong din niya kung magkano ang naiuuwi kong sweldo. Bigla ba naamng banat e, maliit daw yun para sa isang tulad ko. Ano nga ba ko? Ang matataas ko bang grades ang basihan kung ano ako sa trabaho? O ang ginagawa ko at nararamdaman ko sa tuwing ako ay nagtratrabaho. Nagpaapekto ako sa sinabi niya.. OO.. totoo yun.. Isa kasi siya sa taong mataas ang tingin ko.. yun tipong pag nakikita ko at naririnig ang “achievments” nya sa kanyang career, nasasbi ko dati nung nasa kolehiyo pa ko na gusto ko rin amging ganun. Ngayon na ako mismo ay nasa mundo na ng “pagtratrabaho” biglang nabago ang pananaw ko... kasabay dito ang pagbibigay ko ng “commitment” sa Panginoon sa aming simbahan.<br /><br /> Nararamdaman ko na ang pagtanda at pagkakaroon ng responsibilidad. Totoo ngang habang tumatanda tayo dumadami ang responsibilidad natin. Responsibildad ko na ngayon na pumili kung ano ang gagawin ko, saan ako magtratrabaho, saan ako titira o kung saan ako mapapadpad. Pero nakikita ko sa sarili ko na inaayawan kong akuin ang mga resposnibildad na nabanggit ko... Bait.. Naiinis na ko sa sarili ko..<br /><br /> Bakit ako nagpa-apekto sa sinabi nya.. “ang liit ng sweldo mo, sa tipo mong yan.. maghanap ka pa…”<br /><br /> Sumagot akong apektado, “oo nga.. saan aba ko magtratrabaho.. saan ba maganda, sige maghahanap pa ko..”<br /><br /> Tsk tsk tsk… Ni hindi ko man lang pinagtanggol ang napili kong trabaho kung bakit yun ang napili ko… Bakit nga bay un ang napili ko..? akala ko naman kasi maganda na ‘yun.. ano ba ano baa no ba…<br /><br /> Parang sasabog utak ko sa kakaisip…<br /><br />-ang nais kong paglisan sa bahay na tinitirahan ko ngayon<br />-trabaho<br />-trabaho<br />-at kung ano ano pang mga lubak ng buhay….<br /><br />Alam ko dapat di ko to gawin sa sarili ko… malamang sasabihin nanaman ng mga tao.. “kaya mo yan…” dumaan din ako dyan”<br /><br />Sasabihin ni Erickson.. “intimacy vs. isolation” yan..<br /><br />Hay.. mahirap magisip pero habang naiisip ko to, humiginhawa din pakiramdam ko.. ok ok…<br /><br />Naiisip ko pa din ang sinabi ng kaibigan ko kanina tungkol sa trabaho…jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-30158174879270717422008-05-09T16:21:00.000-07:002008-05-09T16:58:37.199-07:00last on who's priority?This week has been too much for me but I guess not for the Lord.<br /><br />I started work this week, actually yesterday. it was tiring, training palang yun.<br /><br />prior to my employment, i had to accomplise some"pre-employment requirements" such as sss id, med certificate and nbi clearance... everything i did in one whole week without any help from anyone except His guidance.<br /><br />as i look back, i was proud of myself.. i was able to do everything independently... but i found out i was sick.. from my med exam.. so this time, i need someone to actually accompany me see a doctor and have a treatment... i asked one friend... sabi ko i need to go to the hospital for a check up, and if SHE can accompany me there... that was last night.. i got her reply this morning saying she had to do a lot of things...<br /><br />ok.. i just wondered, what if sabi ko "may malubha akong sakit, samahan mo ko..." would she have said yes? or maybe not..<br /><br />one thing that i learned at the workplace during my first day was prioritizing.. and so i guess i was the last on her list... i did frown.. and became sad.. why would you want to be tha last one on his/her list of priorities? or maybe naman may present illness is not that grave that she can pass on it nalang. pwede rin diba?<br /><br />nalala ko tuloy yun "parachute message" na motto ng kaibigan ko..<br /><br /><span style="color:#66ffff;">"needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the time you really need them, chances are you wont be needing them again."</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span><br />actually totoo naman.. in some way.. nung narealize ko na gust ko ito isend sa "friend" kong di ako sinamanhan, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na: parang ang bitter mo naman who cant forgive and give second chances.. actually pang ilang chance nya na ba 'to? hmm.. baka ako dapat ang talgnag wag na humingi ng tulogs sa kanya... hehe.. akala ko kasi pag kapatid sa pananampalataya, automatic na matulungin.. hehe! actually lahat nman matulungin.. di lang lahat syempre.. lagi naman ika nga e "exemption to the rule"<br /><br /><br />i started the week alone. (just with God)<br /><br />i may end it alone.. (still with HIM)<br /><br />"i may" lang naman... what if may bigla akong makasama.. pero ok lang.. i would always be very glad to end and start the week with the Lord..<br /><br />i always felt na since im an only child.. i was really destined to be alone.. in everything.. few.. as in very few of my friends would actually say that they will be there for me and really be there.. problem is, they're not here in manila.. some are even halfway across the globe... <br /><br /><br />...........<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;">Salamat pala GIZMO sa pagbati...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;">at Ginoong Lapis.. salamat din ng madaming madami! haha.. parang gumagawa naman tayo ng pelikula sa iniisip mong pagtatagpo natin... :) </span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;">magiisip nga din ako ng magandang pagtatagpo...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff9900;">saka kay Fjordz.. salamat din kasi yun isa sa posts mo.. may narealize ako na nakatulong din sa 'kin.. :)</span>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-56671126967116607842008-05-01T08:35:00.000-07:002008-05-01T09:38:02.175-07:0021 and still counting<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnsglFlSWI/AAAAAAAAAEw/Hi64ihw05VI/s1600-h/bigay+ni+kookoo.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195443689604073826" style="WIDTH: 191px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 174px" height="166" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnsglFlSWI/AAAAAAAAAEw/Hi64ihw05VI/s200/bigay+ni+kookoo.jpg" width="201" border="0" /></a><span style="color:#ff99ff;">thank you kookoo!!!</span> <div><div><div><br /><div>i dont know what to say exactly but i want to say something..<br />it's official.. i'm a year older now..</div><br /><div>Wiser than before?</div><br /><div>I hope so...<br />this past year had been a lot for me.. when i say a lot it only meant a different kind of ride..<br /><br />*(MAY-JUNE) i moved into a new place, my cousin's pad. She's younger, and different from any other kid i know.. she's younger than me and i find having her around a COMPLETE CHALLENGE. why? i am an only child.. io never had anyone to take care of... now i have her.. she grew up in UAE.. we've different cultures.. she's years younger than me.. i don't know why it was hard for me to actually deal with her sometimes.. but at the end of the day.. i find her amazing.. she may test my patience everyday but her company brings me countless insights about my self and my trsut in God's plans... i still struggle with her in terms of patience.. but everyday is a test from God right.. why worry..<br /></div><div>----maybe this happened to ready myself to the coming months.. thesis.. and organizational work for THE Paragon..</div><br /><div><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBntZVFlSYI/AAAAAAAAAFA/q1YaDd6UlVs/s1600-h/launch27.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195444664561650050" style="WIDTH: 202px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 151px" height="167" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBntZVFlSYI/AAAAAAAAAFA/q1YaDd6UlVs/s200/launch27.JPG" width="197" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnuHFFlSZI/AAAAAAAAAFI/jTxz6u6mKFc/s1600-h/launch29.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195445450540665234" style="WIDTH: 198px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 149px" height="101" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnuHFFlSZI/AAAAAAAAAFI/jTxz6u6mKFc/s200/launch29.JPG" width="101" border="0" /></a> i'm missing evryone... eric and renel!!! *nagkaroon ng earthquake bago ang launching.. we shook FEU's grounds.. hehe!!!<br /><br /></div><br /><div></div><div></div><div>*(AUGUST) The Paragon was organized to bring out the writers' essence and creativity of FEU's insitute of arts and sciences students... yep.. from being a writer to being a director to being the assoc ed.. bago ang lahat.. editorial bopard.. we dont even have a budget.. but still.. patience.. and we made it.. thabk God.. first issue.. second issue.. whew.. now i think all i have to do is get them have a third issue even if im ni longer a student of feu... it's laways nice to share something through writing.. masaya eto!!!!</div><div></div><div></div><br /><div>*JUNE--->MARCH --THESIS.. nuff said.. whew.. a test of evrything.. as in everything.. pati friendship.. almost... haha! again patience brought me through.. thank God!</div><div> </div><div>*all year fun with friends...<br /></div><div>*JANUARY- and counting!!!! ----BLOGSPOT adventure!! yehey! new friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</div><div><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#ff0000;">fjordz!</span></div><div><span style="color:#ff0000;">ginoonglapis</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">at Homebody kuya robert!!! </span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">saka si gizmo...</span></div><div><br />--APRIL-Graduation... ok na ok na.. tapos na ko sa 4 na taong pagaaral ng psychology..<br /></div><div>TODAY: hmmm.. isip ako.. ano nga ba.. what's next.. still in His arms.. thank God.. Im still HIS... Im still walking Jesus.. though at times nabuuhat na nya ko.. still glad im still running this race for HIm.. 21 and still counting.. </div><div><br />happy me!</div><div></div><br /><div>salamat sa mga kaibigang mabbait.. uber love you guys!!</div><br /><div><span style="color:#ff6666;">francis</span>. <span style="color:#ff6600;">ate joy. ate chie. ate mayette.</span> <span style="color:#ff99ff;">karol.</span> <span style="color:#009900;">ajie.</span> <span style="color:#66ffff;">UBC!!!. </span></div><br /><div></div><div><a href="http://www.napundingalitaptap.blogspot.com/">k<span style="color:#ff99ff;">oo</span>ko<span style="color:#ff6666;">o</span></a><span style="color:#ccccff;">(saya ng maraming text galing sa<span style="color:#ff6666;"> </span><span style="color:#ff6666;">YFC friends ni KOOKOO..</span> salamat sa yfc feu).</span> </div><br /><div><br /><span style="color:#660000;">Mark mark! </span><span style="color:#993300;">(sakto ang 11:58 pm na pagbati!!)</span> <span style="color:#33ffff;">belle</span><span style="color:#66ff99;">.</span><span style="color:#66ff99;">rico.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#ffcc66;">jake.</span><span style="color:#333333;">neil.<span style="color:#ffcc66;">Renel!!!!!</span> </span><span style="color:#009900;">Ditzler!</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#ff0000;">F<a href="http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com/">jordz!(</a>salamat kaibigang blogger).ma'am KAI!</span><br /></div><div><span style="color:#ff0000;"><span style="color:#000000;">ate juvs.</span> <span style="color:#cc33cc;">czelene.</span> </span></div><div></div><br /><div><span style="color:#ff0000;"><span style="color:#ffcc00;">daine.</span> <span style="color:#ff6666;">aileen.</span> <span style="color:#99ff99;">kuya dan.</span> </span><span style="color:#990000;">maire.tyrus.</span><span style="color:#9999ff;">daisy.<span style="color:#ff6666;">ALan!</span>Migs. </span><span style="color:#00cccc;">Che</span></div><div><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">ate yang!!! Nicole.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;color:#333333;">sa lahat ng di ko nabati!!!! maramingmaramin salamat!!! </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#333333;"></span></div><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnxUVFlSbI/AAAAAAAAAFY/FuqnGAo2Dpc/s1600-h/maligayang+bati.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195448976708815282" style="CURSOR: hand" height="151" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SuRamompXLA/SBnxUVFlSbI/AAAAAAAAAFY/FuqnGAo2Dpc/s200/maligayang+bati.jpg" width="197" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div></div></div></div>jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815966300786377608.post-5102189753139213422008-04-28T02:27:00.000-07:002008-04-28T02:40:12.346-07:00bakit parang ang loser ko"matulog poreber!!!!"<br /><br />parang yan ang gusto ko manyari sa akin nitong mga nagdaang linggo..<br /><br /><br />hay.. unemployed na ko ngayon... dati student nagyon unemployed..<br /><br /><br />gigising ako.. kakain.. tv.. magccomputer.. akkain.. matutulog.. maglilinis ng bahay..<br /><br />ang loser..<br /><br />naku.. kaya pala.. nakakalimutan ko kasi to: tsk tsk<br /><br />PRAYER<br /><br />hay.. jezreel.. tsk tsk..<br /><br />ayan kaya siguro napakaloser mo lately..<br /><br />ang loser ng buhay ko.. naiisip ko.. pero ayan na naman.. sabi nang di dapat ganyan magisip.. nakakalimutan ko na ba kung bakit pa kong tinawag na anak ng PAnginoon... hmmm.. naku..<br /><br />kahit na ganito pa man na i feel like a loser.. na i feel crap.. nahihirapan and all.. talga.. i still praise God.. sa lahat ng bagay.. purihin natin Siya.. just like Job did sa bible.. hay.. may i be like Job..<br /><br />pero sana nga... malaman ko kung ano nga ba gagawin ko sa sarili ko... sna maiisip ko na ang tama bago ako tumanda ng isang taon...jezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11435752636795273870noreply@blogger.com3