why .. something's wrong with me...

The past months had been a time of change. It was a time of decisions, of opportunities given and wasted and of friends leaving. I realized how far we can push ourselves to the limit of giving and understanding how life really goes. Everyday is a decision to make. From the choices we make to the mistakes we committed, they were all our decisions. As I face the question of my family and friends: “what are your plans after college?” I tried my best to answer something I can live up to. It’s not going to be as easy as before, I know.. but hey.. no one has it really easy right..?

i have to see what's next.. but i have to open my eyes first...

i have to know where i'm going so i probably should get a map...

i should be thankful and elated of what's going on in my life.. i am happy.. much more i feel blessed.. but still.. something's amiss.. like there's a lack of enthusiasm in me..

i hate myself for it.. like I'm some ungrateful kid.. but I'm really grateful.. it's just something is different.. i can't figure out what is it..

could it be the pressure of finding a job? should I get a job na ba? a school for my MA? do i even want to get an MA already.. plus my parents not letting me go into any "vacation trips" with some friends... arrgh.. could all of this be a reason why I'm not really elated, thrilled.. overjoyed..



..

i just have to keep praying until i get through this.. He's getting me through this.. I'm already a winner in HIM.. victors in Christ diba? ....