a time well spent

My head is tired of thinking about the coming days...
Then I figured out, does it really matter?
What I think of...
Thinking of the people I've met, friends and routines.

What is four years compared to a lifetime ahead?
A simple trip to a seminar can give me new friends
I can provide new routines with my planner
But four years of a hand full of memories with
strangers and friends, and silly rituals is compared to nothing.

My head is tired of thinking about the coming days...
It must've mattered a bit,
Of the things that I think of..
Thinking of success and failures, of the picture stilled memories.

I wrote, indeed i shared my thoughts and my my own two-cents
The ball games and the story behind it, of the talks and the message imbibed from it.
I taught, of what I know and had a hearty laugh in the process.
With fellow students and strangers, it must've mattered a bit.

Yet, my head is indeed tired of thinking...
But i would love to say it did matter.
Of the things I thought of, i remembered and kept.
Thinking of the place, the time, the people and the essence of it all.

That in the end, all I have was the memories.
Of laughter brought about by the time well spent,
And the bulk of knowledge and wisdom well earned...
Friends and family received in the very essence of it all.


And it did matter in the end,
-though my head was tired, oh praise Ye for it did matter.

jezreel 2/28/07

naisip ko nanaman

ngayong linggo.. may mga pag-usap na di mawaglit sa isip ko..

nung isang araw...

"i feel sad" sabi ko sa kaibigan ko..

"masyado ako masaya ngayon para maging malungkot para sa 'yo e.." sabi nya.. sabay punta sa kabilang side ng room ata yun..

Hindi ko naman hinihingi na maging malungkot siya. Masaya ako para sa nararamdaman niya. Pero yun nga lang, di naman siya pwedeng maging malungkot para sa akin.. dahil masaya nga siya.

Bihira ko lang sabihin ang mga katagang yun sa isang kaibigan.. at ang ganung "reply" ang dahilan kung bakit di ko yun sinasabi ng madalas..

...

ayun.. naglabas lang ng sama ng loob.

Salamat

from dusk till dawn..

i'll praise You...

for the works of Your hand has made me whole

for Your love has made me who i am.

undeserving i am

not even worthy of Your love..

for i am a sinner.. unholy..

but because of Your love, through the darkness i was found.

through the days of my life, i'll sing of Your Love

through every breath, I'll dance of your kindness..

throgh every bit of me.. i'll praise you..

For YOU have saved me.. for YOU have saved me..

im ny darkest, in my lowest, in my weakest...

You're my sight, my strength my all...

Jesus.. You saved me..
It is You.. i love the most.. THANK YOU!

at our school's roof top!

the past weeks have been a real test of patience and perseverance.. plus.. FAITH!

i found myself fighting in battles i can only win because God is the ever faithful God..

plus.. i can not survive "february" without HIm.. goodness.. when will the "love/relationship" talks end?!?

i can't wait for summer!!

a time for all

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time

to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

************************************************************************************

i think..

time holds the key to a lot of things... that's why i pray so hard for God to keep me patient.

my friend said that time is not gold---it's priceless..

i guess when we think that there is a time for everything, there is less regret in us.

sometimes, we dont notice the time..

busy ourselves with so many things..

i learned that i can not control the pace of life, but i can manage my time

in the end of my time, i want to be able to tell myself...

"my time was well spent.. with God and His vineyard, with the love of my family

and friends.. and with myself!"

how about you?

i love you!

LOVE!

-Jesus
Because He loves us so much He died for our sins.

-mom and dad
They make me hope and look forward to spending my life with someone who’ll love me … someone who’ll be patient with me.. who’ll trust me.. make me laugh.. make me sing.. make me live life like there is always something to look forward to.. plus.. their love keeps me going going and going..

-friends
Some are bitter, some are full of love.. Either way.. They make me feel love in so many ways.. And see love in various forms and sizes.

anyways.. with all the vendors (who came like mushrooms beside our school and near our apartment) selling heart shaped stuff and overpriced flowers.. i can't help but remember.. ahehe! "valentines pala"

ayun.. kaya mag-iisang linggo ko ng nakikita yun mga nagtitinda ng bulaklak at heart na unan heart na tsokolate at lahat ng pwede gawing heart... na may nakasulat na I love you.. haha!

.. season of love.. lagi namang season of love.. lalo na kay God.. john 3:16.. :)

pero sige na nga.. happy seaseon of love.. eto maganda tong kantang to.. hehe.. everything ni michael buble..

napaisip.. :)

mahilig nga kasi ako mag-isip.. ewan ko ba..

nung friday night.. hmm.. di ako makatulog.. tapos nalulungkot ako.. basta ewan ko bakit ako nalulungkot.. nagligpit ako ng gamit.. hmm.. tapos.. nakatabi sa gilid ng closet ko yun painting na hiniram ko kay glenn a.k.a mikoy wonderboy.. :)

tapos, tinanong ko sya kung kelan ko ibabalik yun painting nya.. pinagdala kasi kami dati ng visual arts ng prof ko sa humanities.. e wala naman kamng painting or sculpture dito.. akal ko seryosohang visual arts eto.. kaya nanghiram ako ng acryli.. oil painting sa kaibigan ko.. si mikoy.. ayun.. so syempre inaral ko pa yun painting.. pagdating ko ng klase.. hays.. ang dala ng mga kaklase ko.. mga rtwork nila nung high school sila.. visual arts din pala yun.. umm.. may nagdala ng clay painting, ng mga watercolor painting from way bach gradeschool.. may mga pictures nilang magkakabarkad.. may celphone.. feeling ko natalbugan yun painting ni mikoy.. ang ganda pa naman.. nawalan tuloy ako ng gana magrecite... inisip ko sana dinala ko nalang yun paper stars ko.. basta magaling ako sa pag gawa nun e.. madami ako nun.. nakita ko sa net na ang origami in one ay or another ay form ng visula art.. na sad ako.. kasi feeling ko, di ko nabigyan ng justice yun painting ni mikoy..

ayun.. makalipas ng ilang linggo.. panahaon na para lumisan yun painting sa kwarto.. kasi baka makalimutan ko pa ibalik... e ggraduate na daw kami..

nung isang gabi, tinanong ko kukunin na nya.. wala naman talga akong balak hingin, kasi alam ko na mahalga din yun painting na yun sa kanya.. saka nahihiya ako sa kanyang hingiin yun..

pero sabi nya akin nalang daw.. remembrance.. natuwa ako syempre.. ang bait nito ah.. haha.. na -sad ako.. kasi nalala ko na lilisn na pala ako sa piyu.. tapos di ko na makikita yun iba kong kilala na tinuring ko nang kaibigan..

masaya na malungkot.. grabe.. ang mood nga talga ng tao ay paiba-iba.. kaya nga sabi ni Carl Jung.. napaka complex ng personality ng tao.. maraming bagay taoyng nararamdaman kahit ayaw natin.

alam natin di maganda sa pakiramdam pag nalulungkot tayo. pero kaya nga ba natin pilitin ang sarili na maging masaya... na ibahin ang nararamdaman.. hmm..

mahirap yun diba? ewan ko..

matapos ko matanggap ang painting.. super thank you ako kay glen.. mikoy pag sumikat ka.. siguro ok na ok.. isa ko sa may artwork mo e..haha! salamat talga glen!

hmm..

"a walk to remember"- by glen echavez

sabi nya.. pininta nya ang dalampasigan na madalas nyang puntahan sa cebu.. napaganda daw ng lugar at nais nya balikan ito balang araw.. hmmm..

ok nga e.. kasi ako ang interpretation ko, yun guy.. nag-iisip.. ikung ano na ang mangyayari.. sa lahat.. :) parang ako.. iniisp ko din kung ano ng mangayayri .. tapos nito...

a place i have to find..

"I know a place that we can go to,
A place where no one knows you

They won't know who we are

I know a place that we can run to

And do those things we want to

They won't know who we are..."

that is one my favorite songs.. take you there by plain white t's.. sometimes i wish i could just get away from all of what's happening... i'm young i know and life should be pretty easy and i should be having the time of my life..



but sometimes, like now.. i don't feel like that at all..



i just want to runaway sometimes.. a place where i can run.. run so fast and hard i'd forget about everyting... a place where no questions will be asked.. just me.. and perhaps i could listen to myself and what God wants me to do..



"ano gagawin mo after graduation?"



i don't know.. i mean i know what i want to do.. i just do know if its the right thing to do.. im not a teen anymore.. i cant rely on my parents to make decisions for me..



--should i study.. something different.. something that i love.. writing and culture and arts and music.. can i even do that? i want to see culture and learn it and through it be a better christian.. help people and see people the way no else see them.. study more about people.. true psychology unike the rubbish ones they use to teach me here in college.. yes.. they teach rubbish things sometimes.. plus the system is soooo not good.. i wish could do something to change the system..



--pursue what we've been trained to do for the last 4 years.. be in human resource development and make a company a lot whole richer while millions of people, FILIPINOS become poorer each day..



--or think about while i stay home watch tv all day.. ( tsk.. tsk.. jez, mahiya ka naman!!)



haha! i dont know!



those three things that i thought of doing makes my mind cluttered.. haha! i complicate things don't i.. bawal magreklamo.. thoughs ko nga ito e.. :)





"kahit ano piliin mo, may nakalaan na ang Panginoon sa 'yo"



my mom kinda said that to me... i know He has a plan.. i am scared to think i might be deviating from His plan already..





i just dont want any regrets anymore like i use to before..

I know a place that we've forgotten

A place we won't get caught in

They won't know who we are (they won't know, won't know)

I know a place where we can hide out

And turn our hearts inside out

They won't know who we are

Let Me Take You There LyricsArtist(Band):Plain White T's