litanya

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"i chose to break something.. sad.. really sad.."

9 something am..

good morning jez! .. head spinning... teka, hangover? umm.. di nga pala ko umiinom... umm.. naiinis.. naiinis.. naiinis..

ref.. jam.. bread..

lalabas pala ko..

naiinis.. naiinis.. naiinis..

cellhone.. scroll.. delete, delete, scroll.. delete.. idelete nalang lahat!!

beep.. sms.. "goodmorning jez!"

smile.. :) :)

teka... umm.. mali mali.. bakit ka nakangiti...

bad jez!

12 something pm...

fx: kamusta ka na?

pom: ang haba ng hair ng lola mo.... nakakainis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

usap.. usap.. usap..

jadson: ... sige

kain.. kain.. kain..

jadson: ikaw nga bea nya e...

pom: haha!!!! tawa!!! tawa!! tawa!!! whatever..

fx: tawa..


lakad.. usap.. tawa.. yey!! buti nalang..

sms.. punta k?

isp. isip. isip. isp....

hmmm... sige na nga.. pwede pa naman.. naku patay ako nito.. (ayan na naman yun butterflies sa tyan ko.. )

ayun.. sige nalang na..

ayan na.. :)

bahala na... basta..

poor eyesight in teh dark... di ako makakita..

(ok lang nandyan naman sya.. ngingiti sana.. pero .. tsk tsk.. bad jez bad!!)

kain.. kwento.. tawa.. ngiti.. tingin sa mata.. tingin pa sa mata.. tingin pa sa mata.. hay..


oops... uuwi na tayo..

ate: uyy.. sige balitaan nyo ko..

pom: huh?!? wala to.. (naku.. wag nya malaman please!!! ayan na naman yun butterfly...)

hatid.. hatid. paalam.. umm.. hirap magpaalam..

"don worry ako bahala.. wag ka na magisip.."

arrfg!! yun ang talgang gusto ko gawin magisip!!! *&^*&^ ayoko malaman yun susunod na mangyayari..

hay...

pom: "wag na.. pano kung di na ko ang gusto mo... " haha...

tapos.. rant.. rant rant.. rant.. rant..(patient sya e.. nakikinig naman.. ) kaya sige rant pa din.. "diba. nakakainis yun.. !"

........: osige na.. ikaw lang, isip ka ng isip sa nangyari..
pom: e kaya nga e.. basta hayaan mo nalang ako..



hay.. bakit kasi di ka pa pumasok sa loob jez!!!!!

pom: "basta.."

..............................: "bahala ka.."

pom..: :/ ok...

pag uwi..

sige jez.. toturin mo sarili mo..


tanong tanong... ym.. alam mo naman sagot.. pilit ka pang nagttanong kung ano dapat mo gwin..

sms: andto na ko.. good night..

pom: ok ingat dyan.. :)

(pero talgang :( ganito sya.. haha!!)

ayun.. ahhh.. bukas ako ng blog..
blog..

silip silip silip.. ( habang sumisilip..naalala.." wag mo na kasi ttgnan pa yun..")

e ayun.. tinignan pa din.. binasa.. binasa.. wahhh!!!! :(
:(
:(
:'(
:'(
:(

ang dami ko ng di gagawin next time..

:'(
:'(

kumuha ng tubig.. nilagay ang bulaklak sa improvise vase....

pinsan: ang ganda nyan pom ah..

pom: may chocolate pa.. :'(

pinsan: ubos na ata.. wag na inuubo ka e...

pom.. e ok lang yan... badtrip ako e..

pinsan: hehe.. naubos na e..

pom: WAAAHHt! .......................... ok.... bag.. halungkat ng chocolate.. halungkat.. oo makalat si bag... halungkay..

ah! meron pang isa.. pulang chokolate...

wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! naalala ko si.......

ano ba yan...

pinsan: "noodles na to.. iyo ba?"

katxt: ano magnda sa sine?


pom: waaah!!!!! ayoko na.. ayoko na.. oo.. ok.. ok na ko.. ayoko na...


iyak.iyak.iyak... umm. tapos na 11 minutes.. nagiinarte naalng..


higa.. pray.. tulog...

bangon.. net. net. net.. tulog..

sunday: 9 am...


pom: "bakit???...."


...

as long as it is HIS promise.. no problem!! part 2.. guarded

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23)

and i thank God he has been guarding not only my heart but its decisions as well...
oh.. and these decisions.. their hard.. umm.. i have to really think.. and see..

i chose the one HE had provided for me..

no, he's not one of the "guys" i mentioned before... though..... yes.. there are "thoughs and what ifs..."

but i can not risk my decision to my faith.. its sad.. but its what i chose..


i'm choosing to wait... from James 1:17 we know that God gives us good and perfect gifts, and Ephesians 3:20 says that we know God is able to do above and beyond all that we can ask or even think.

as long as it is HIS promise.. no problem!!

finally..

i can write again..

after all the drama.. umm... more drama i guess..

its my last week at work..

probably my last week also at the place i live in..

oh... and the "boys"... yup..

lets see..


-i feel brave enough to resign, probably should be braver becoming unemployed for a while.. i believe i can find a new one in no time.. i just hope it would be way way better than my present one..

---bottom line for me: DONT give your TRUST that easilly...
CONSIDER the advice of people who have been there
and the most important thing.. still.. TRUST GOD..

-i'm getting, ummm.. evicted in the place i live in.. umm..

---crux for me: REVIEW all your decisions, for teh CONSEQUENCES may last a lifetime..
RELATIVES.. ummm.. they kinda suck sometimes... umm.. BIGTIME!

-and oh yeah... the "BOYS"

plural form.. yep! never had so many of them in my life.. haha!!!

----so how will you choose?
of his roses and chocolates... how do you say no?
of his laughter and his smile... how do you say no?
of.. umm.. his looks.. haha! how do you say no?

lets see..
it's because it just wont work... even though everyone has practically vouched for him.. even i sometimes ask, how come it's not him... probably there's someone else.... is it the other one who sounded so different.. no one's vouching for him and taking the risk of going out with him sounds so appealing.. sounds so.. umm.. "secret lovers" .. but knowing the consequences make my tummy squirm.. it will ruin not only friendships but probably us as well... and so down to the last one.. he whose looks had one the smiles of everyone in our place.. haha... but this one, i can expect nothing.. im too tired of dealing with first two.. i just waved my hand and put down my hair.. sayng.. haha!! "ang ganda ko naman..."

but seriously.. i was thinking this maybe God's way of preparing me for something nice.. hmmm.. the "outing" at the end of November... the one where i might probably see who He had chosen for me... haha!!!

the feeling of being "liked"... its nice.. but i believe I'll have someone that HE has picked specifically for me.. maybe he is one of the boys i talked about.. but I know God is saying.. "wait..."


i don't mind waiting.. as long as I'm holding on to HIS promise.. i can wait and wait and wait.. :)

i learned and cried a lot...

yesterday, i cried bukets and buckets of water to sleep.

and i made a decision.. i'm resigning.. i never felt this sad before.. a different kind of sad..

my boss talked to me regarding my job performance... and it was a long talk.. which made me realize.. i want to leave.. im resigning...

i dont want to go home everyday feeling so exhausted i cant read my favorite book.. i dont get to have my devotions sometimes because i wake up late since im tired from yesterday. I am tired... i know this is not what He wants for me.

a few months back, i received feedbacks from my friends who already established in the corporate world that i should get a new job.. my parents told me so too...

and yes.. i know.. i should have listened and i acknowledge that.. im sorrry and i will heed to their advice next time...

they do know better sometimes..

plus.. really.. we should be careful on who we give our trust to...

i had this written in my multiply site a few days ago..:

"there was this request i made last night to someone that triggered a decision i ever thought i would make this early...
it's been four months already and i never knew i would end it this way... my high regard to some people is slowly diminishing. Each day pass by and i can no longer find a reason to stay. i hate this feeling..
the past few weeks had been so gruesome for me.. my stress manifests even in my sleep..
i have never felt this low before... i was berrated, talked to sacastically and bypassed. there were times where i feel unrespected.. not valued..
I think the lesson i learned about all of this is that i have to know when enough is enough..
and sometimes lessons learned are a bit too late... if i should have came into that realization before... i never should have felt like this with some people..
i was hoping things will get better..
maybe in some other time.. but not now..
and so last night... i cried...
that's when i knew.. i have to stop... and probably exert all my time and effort in other things.. not all things are forever ..."

I pour out myself in that post and i wanted to share it to someome in the office whom i consider a friend and trust.. i shared the post through a short letter with some words of encourage ment and all the yadiyahs...

and what happened next stubled my feelings in a halt.. sh eprinted out my personal email for her and showed it to my boss.. our boss...

i felt sad really bad.. i dont know how will i feel about her.. i regard as my best colleagues..

it sucks when those things happen to you..


it really does...


my heart sank with pain..

i cried so hard last night knowing i have to leave my work really soon... i know i have to leave... i do like what i do.. its just there are too many of it.. and the people... they make it harder...


i pray yesterday for HIS guidance and wisdom.. io prayed and prayed as i pour my tears out...

the sad part is..

i couldnt find anyone to pour my heart out too... my mom and dad is not here.. my cousin's a bit indifferent and i dont know if i can trust the pople in the office anymore... i do have some friends.. two of them made the effort to make em smile... thanks nicole and jadson...


i learned a lot lately...

though painfull,

i thank God for it.. i rejoice in the circumstances i get to see HIs love all the more..

labor day!

dahil sa laki ng oras na naigugugol ko sa pagtratrabaho.. ang daming tanong ang naiisip ko.. hinanakit.. inis..may 168 na oras tayo sa isang linggo..

sa opisina... mahigit 5o hours ang ginugugol ko sa opisina sa looob ng isang linggo...

at mahirap magtrabaho pag ang kasama mo araw-araw.. sa mahigit walong oras ay di mo gusto o kasundo..ang bigat sa pakiramdam..

napaiyak ako sa opisina kahapon.. nakakainis..

ang pagtratrabaho... bakit tayo nagtratrabaho??

sagutin mo nga ako..

bakit tayo nagtratrabaho????

-maaring dahil kailngan natin ng pera...
-maaring dahil sinabi ng magulang natin na magtrabaho tayo
-pwede rin nais mo isagawa ang inaral mo ng 4 o 5 taon...
-sabi nila ang isip, pumupur0l at katawan, humihina pag di ginagamit kaya kailangan magtrabaho.. ok na nga ang isip at katawa.. kumikita pa...


PERO.. lahat ng sobra.. masama diba..

-pag maraming pera
...........nawawalan ng oras sa pamilya.. sarili.. at kung ano ano pa.. di mo rin ma-eenjoy pera mo.. wala nga adw peace of mind diba.. ewan ko.. di marami pera ko e.. naririnig ko lang sa may mga marami nun..

-dahil sa sabi nga lang ng magulang.. di NAMAN TAYO MASAYA

-SABI NILA MARAMI DAW UNDER EMPLOYED E..... di anman talga nagagamit ang pinag-aralan e... ako mismo sa HRD.. maraming naencounter na ganyan.. ang inaapplyang position mlayo sa sinabi kong job specs..

-ah oo.. gamit na gamit isip ko at katawan ko sa trabahoko.. isip ako ng isip.. bad for the health..


gaya ng sabi ko.. pag SOBRA.. saka lang nagiging masama...


e madalas din.. di naman napapansin ng tao kung sobra na o hindi pa e..

kahit na NAKAKAINIS minsan magtrabaho... NAKAKASUYA... o naman talagang nais mo sabihin ng OGAG yun kasamahan...

OK PA NAMAN AKO...


e pano... INIISIP KO... PARA NA ALNG TO KAY LORD... I WORK FOR HIM..NOT THEM..

buti nalang weekend..


sabi ng kasamahan ko.. kahit na magresign ang isang empleyado..wla nman mangayyari sa opisina e... kikita padin kumpanya..

totoo namn din..

gaya samin.. kung may gulo man sa admin gaya ng pagreresign at di pagkakaunawan.. may mga customers pa din akmi. din anamn nila alam yun nangyayari sa loob e... kaya may custom ers pa di akmi.. madami.. di nalulugi kumpanya.. yun mga nagtratrabaho lang.. lalo na pag di "properly compensated"..

bakit ganun.. parang ang empleyado ang lugi?
parang may amli sa konspto ng "LABOR" dito sa PILIPINAS...


inumpisahan ng mga kastilang yan ...

feeling tuloy ng ibang Pinoy.. ok magpaalila... @$#%^&^..


LABOR??


grrr...

feeling ko im bound to do something with the concept of "WORK RIGHTS... di pa alng full force ngaun... bakit??


may 1 ako pinanagnak e...

maraming salamat kookoo!!

matagal na ko na walang blog...

ngunit ngayon.. mukhang sisipigan na talga kong magsulat...

dahil ang blog ko ay may bagong design..


malaking pasasalamat kay KOOKOO!!!

malaking hello din kay:

kuya homebodyhubby
g.lapis
fjordz
gizmo

salamat muli KOOKOO!!!!

photo edit collection

prends palagi.. =)

hanggang tingin nalang...

ngiti sa sarili...

___________________________________

sabi kanina ng kaibigan ko...:

cheng: 241 ka diba?

cheng: dapat palaban ka

cheng: hehe

tama tama cheng.. tama ka dyan..

natuwa ako talga..

___________________________________

sabi ng boss ko.. madaming bagay talga kahit maliit nakakapagpasaya...

oo tama siya.. pero ngayon, di ko na alam kung yung bagay na yun ay talgang nakakapagpasaya..

_________________________________

sabi ni boss,

di ka ngumingiti ngayon..

masakait lang taga tiyan ko..

wag ka magalala, isang linggo ka lang sa operations department..

ok sige sabi mo.. matapos mo ko ipamigay sa kabilang department e di sige nalang...

sige nalang, gaya ng sinasabi ng lahat.. tiyaga daw kasi daw lahat dumadaan sa gaito..

natural ba sa pilipino ang pagiging matiisin? isa siguro sa dahilan kaya ang kupad ng usad ng pinoy minsan..

hay

trsut God nalang nga.. e di tapos usapan diba.. hay...